My parents aren’t the typical, “don’t say bad words” or “don’t talk about anything that pertains to sex,” types. They are the kind of parents who think most of the weird, unusual, or not often discussed body parts are hilarious. For instance, the word scrotum, which I will come back in a little bit.
I have a class called “Life-skills.” which is a class that is supposed to mature you and get you ready for adulthood (it doesn’t seem to be working for me). I find it weird that they are trying to force maturity and responsibility onto us freshmen instead of having it come naturally like it does to every other kid in the county. Usually, this class results in fake or forced maturity in kids. I find this to be hilarious (the kid that this class seemingly has no effect on). Like, for example, this girl when we were learning about objectifying women said, “Girls should be happy with the bodies they have; real beauty lies on the inside.” To which I replied, “That is what ugly people say.” My teacher (who notices humor, but sadly also rudeness) gave me what had to be at least my fifth “second warning” and sent me outside.
The incident that should have been what finally sent me on my way to the principle’s office came (luckily) when there was a sub, and by school rules, I cannot get a referral from a substitute. To make me not sound like a jerk, I will state what this girl has said to me; she has called me a nerd countless times because of my bad eyesight and my glasses, she has said I was “unfunny”, which made me way more sad than mad, and she has done a couple of other things that were not clever enough to commit to long-term memory, but were hurtful none the less. Obviously, I needed to get this girl back. Keep in mind this girl is seriously overweight and very mean. In the part of the class called “Free Speech” She got up and went on about how she and her mom have some “mysterious illness.” The room was very quite when I asked, “Is it Mad Cow disease?” She seemed to be the only person, who did not hear what I had said, which was good, because she is very large, and has an extremely scary and unpredictable boyfriend. That is the comment that pushed me right onto paper-thin ice. But I have spent years playing hockey, so as long as I concentrated, I could force it not to crack.
School went on for a couple weeks with me being good (not great) in that class. It was in the middle of free time that my teacher pulled me aside to tell me that the following week, we would be starting sex-ed and one peep out of me would get me sent straight to the principal’s office. It was then that I heard the ice crack.
To be continued…
